top of page

Supporting A Partner with Depression: How to Be There When They Need You Most


A couple snuggle in bed watching a movie together

Has this happened to you? You ask your partner to go on a date but they tell you they're exhausted. For the next few weeks, they reject any opportunity to go out, leaving you feeling rejected. If you’ve experienced this, your partner may be struggling with depression. During depressive episodes, they may become withdrawn and easily irritable. Leaving you feeling neglected and yearning for connection, but there are ways to support your partner without invalidating your own feelings. To have a successful relationship it’s important to understand what your partner is going through and how it affects your relationship. 


How Depression Affects Your Partner 


The first step to being able to help your partner is understanding your partner’s state of mind. Depression can stem from a variety of factors but it all leads to your partner having persistent feelings of sadness or emptiness. 


  1. Mood

Your partner may experience sudden mood swings, shifting from feeling fine to a deep emotional low, often without any apparent trigger. These shifts can lead to intense feelings of sadness and exhaustion, and in some cases, they may even struggle with suicidal thoughts. It's important to remember that they cannot control these feelings and are likely battling an overwhelming internal struggle.


However, this may affect your relationship by making you feel like your partner isn’t happy with you or that they have no interest in doing things with you. 


  1. Physical Symptoms 

While Depression is a mental illness, it can cause physical symptoms in the form of: 

  • Stomach aches

  • Headaches

  • Digestive issues

  • Exhaustion

             These can make it difficult for your partner to routinely go out on dates or do outdoor activities. Making you feel like your partner is avoiding doing activities with you but in actuality, their depression is causing them physical problems. 


  1. Cognitive Symptoms

Depression can impair your partner's ability to concentrate and retain information. The overproduction of the stress hormone cortisol disrupts brain function, making it harder for them to focus. As a result, you might feel like your partner isn’t listening or paying attention, but the reality is that their brain struggles to process and remember details.


How you can help your partner


  1. Patience 

The first step to helping your partner and your relationship is having patience. Leading with empathy and trying to take your time to understand them will help focus on the bigger picture first, and soothe any frustrations. Which in turn helps your partner feel safe to open up to you. 


Don’t try to “fix” them as depression isn’t something that can just be immediately solved, it’s a complex mental illness that can last for a lifetime. 


  1. Open Communication 

Telling your partner how you’re feeling can be crucial to making sure their thoughts and emotions don’t spiral. Verbalizing that you love and care about them, can dispel doubts they may have as they spiral. Being open about your feelings and encouraging them to open up about theirs is extremely important. Listening to them without judgment will help them come to you and open up.


  1. Adapt

If your partner is unable to do outdoor dates, see what they do have the energy or interest in doing. Maybe they can’t go to a movie theater but instead, you can have a movie night with popcorn and snacks at home.


However if they need space, respect that and don’t try to push them. Pushing them can make them feel ashamed of their depression and as though there is something wrong with them. Let them know you understand them and their needs. 


  1. Professional Help

Depression is a serious mental health condition, but with proper support, it is possible to manage and improve. Regular therapy sessions can play a crucial role in your partner's recovery. Assisting them in finding a therapist and encouraging them to seek help in a compassionate, non-judgmental way will significantly contribute to their mental well-being.


 Depression impacts your partner's daily life, and understanding this is one part of having a healthy relationship. If you and your partner are ready to seek help reach out to LifecareWellness Counseling at 205-579-9299 or online


4 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


© 2024 by Lifecare Wellness Counseling

bottom of page