Having any relationship with someone with Narcissist Personality Disorder can be difficult and straining, it’s especially difficult when you have a family member who is a narcissist. When a narcissistic person is in a parental role, it can impact your mental health in the long term, so whether you’re still living with your parents or are living on your own, you may still be experiencing repercussions from your upbringing.
Impact of Narcissistic Parents
Low Self-esteem
Narcissists can be very ego-focused and will put others down to elevate their own sense of self-worth. They will most often target those closest to them, including their children, leading to long-term low self-esteem by exploiting insecurities and gaslighting.
This can lead to second-guessing yourself, thinking everyone dislikes you, and being overly critical of yourself. Low self-esteem can hinder your ability to pursue and achieve your goals.
Difficulty setting boundaries
To establish power, narcissists will trample over any set boundaries, often belittling and downplaying the need for any boundaries. Sometimes they leverage their parental role as justification to push boundaries, even lashing out if boundaries are set.
Not having your boundaries respected, or being punished for having boundaries, can lead to you having unhealthy relationships because of the lack of boundaries. In these relationships, you may feel yourself being bulldozed and trampled by your partner or friends and unable to express your feelings or assert your needs effectively.
Mental health Issues
Being around a narcissist can lead to you developing your mental health issues, often in the form of anxiety and depression. When your emotions are often dismissed, a common occurrence with narcissistic parents, you may start to suppress your feelings, leading to emotional disconnection or a sense of being overwhelmed by them.
If you have a narcissistic parent you may feel yourself identifying with these impacts and noticing it in your own life. Even with these negatives, some people decide to stay in contact with their parents or have no choice if they still live with them while others will cut ties. There is no right or wrong way to handle this you need to prioritize what’s best for your well-being, even if that means cutting off communication with your parents. But if you choose to keep a relationship with them or are currently living with them there are ways to cope with this relationship without harming yourself in the process.
Ways to Cope
Understand what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is
The first step if you want to maintain a relationship with your narcissistic parent is understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder. One of the main aspects is that you cannot expect your parent to change unless they want to put in the effort to change. Expecting them to change will only lead to disappointment and more tension.
Limiting Information
Being selective about the information you share can help your interactions with your parent feel less targeted. Narcissists often use the information given to them as a way to manipulate people or hurt them, so limiting what you share minimizes this likelihood. Your narcissistic parent may try to push for more information but telling them only small details can help smooth your interactions.
Setting Boundaries
This step may be difficult, but setting boundaries is extremely important to continue a relationship with a narcissistic parent. Narcissists will try to push boundaries to feel in control, and allowing them to do so gives them more power and entitles them to keep pushing boundaries. To protect your boundaries, remove yourself from situations where your boundaries are ignored or refuse to engage in subjects you may not want to discuss.
Self-care
After time with your narcissistic parent, you may feel a heightened sense of stress. Make sure that after your interaction you spend time unpacking how you feel and doing things that provide you with comfort. This can be watching a comfort movie, taking a relaxing bath, or going for a walk; whatever you need to take care of yourself. It’s also important to know when it’s time to step away from your interaction with your narcissistic parent, forcing yourself to stay can cause longer-lasting harm to your mental state.
Seeking Professional help
A therapist can help you talk through your emotions and understand the best coping mechanisms for any issues you’re struggling with caused by your narcissistic parent. Discussing your relationship with your parents with a professional can also help you figure out what boundaries you may need and how to set those boundaries in place.
Whether you maintain a relationship with your narcissistic parent or are dealing with the impact after cutting them off, reaching out to a professional can give you valuable guidance. Lifecare Wellness Counseling has professional therapists who can help you set boundaries, break unhealthy habits, and discuss any issues surrounding your parents you may have.
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