While the focus on conflict resolution to maintain a healthy relationship is critical, learning to communicate gratitude is just as important. Imagine this scene: your partner’s responsibilities at work have increased leading to them falling behind in their household responsibilities as they adjust to the new work-life balance. You have started putting more effort into keeping your home clean. One day you fall behind, and your partner makes a comment pointing out a spot you missed. Instead of feeling appreciated, you feel taken for granted and grow resentful. You may snap at your partner, and come to find that they also feel taken for granted. If you can relate to this, learning how you and your partner can implement gratitude and appreciation into your relationship can strengthen your relationship and your self-esteem.
How Appreciation Improves Your Bond
But why is appreciation so important in a relationship? Not only does it bring you closer to your partner but it can also improve your mental health.
Reminds you what your partner does for you
When you’re trying to balance chores, work, and your relationship you may forget about the ways your partner helps maintain this balance. Maybe they cook for you three times a week so you eat a healthy meal or maybe they pick you up from work so you don’t have to wait for the bus.
Either way, taking time to show your partner appreciation helps remind you what they do for you, and vice versa. This reminder can help you avoid complacency in your relationship and stay mindful of your partner’s efforts.
Celebrates your relationship
As you go through the routine of everyday life with your partner, expressing gratitude can help you relearn how to celebrate your relationship. Finding small things in your relationship to celebrate is important for fostering positivity in your relationship.
Fosters positive communication
If you and your partner have been in a long-term relationship, you may have gotten into a routine of only having “serious” conversations when handling conflict your relationship. By discussing gratitude you open up positive communication between you and your partner and avoid attaching a negative connotation to "serious" discussions.
Breaks tension
You and your partner may silently be quietly resentful and feel taken for granted. Approaching your partner about how grateful you are for them or what they do, may help relieve any tension you and your partner may have been feeling, but not expressed.
How to express gratitude
Now that you know the positives of expressing gratitude, how do you approach or implement expressing gratitude?
Just Say It
A simple first step is when you notice your partner doing something for you that you appreciate, simply telling them at the moment. This lets your partner know that you notice and appreciate their contributions to your relationship.
Some examples of this can range from just a small thank you or having a conversation about how grateful for all the things they do.
Gifts
If your partner feels uncomfortable with verbal praise or you want to show your appreciation in a different way, getting your partner a treat or small token can show how much you appreciate them.
Some ideas can be getting them their favorite pastry or a book they’ve been eyeing for a while.
Check-in with them
Your partner may be secretly harboring feelings of resentment or distress. Just check in with them to see if they’re feeling taken for granted and if there’s anything you can do. Having an open dialogue allows you both to feel safe to mention when you feel your efforts are not being appreciated, and avoid any buildup of resentment.
Couples Therapy
There might be an underlying reason for your partner not noticing your efforts or vice versa. These reasons may be difficult for you to uncover without outside support. Leveraging couples therapy provides you with professional support to guide discussions and surface the underlying causes of friction in your relationship and potential resolutions.
Lifecare Wellness Counseling has professional experts, with experience aiding couples in connecting and overcoming conflict.
With everything you have to accomplish in your day-to-day, sometimes you may forget to take the time to appreciate your partner. Keeping these tips in mind can help you be more mindful, strengthen your relationship, and be a reminder of how your partner improves your life.
If you and your partner are seeking individual therapy or couples therapy reach out to Lifecare Wellness Counseling to book an appointment today.