If you're in a relationship with someone who has ADHD, navigating conflict can feel challenging—especially if your partner tends to shut down. You may relate to this scenario: your partner may have been focused on a hobby and doesn't notice when you speak to them. After a while you may feel frustration build up as your partner doesn’t respond to you for the third time, leading to you snapping at them. Your partner may respond with irritation or shut down making it difficult to have a productive conversation. How can you learn how to navigate arguments with your ADHD partner in a way that fosters understanding and resolution.
Tips for Navigating conflicts with your ADHD partner
Address issues before they turn into resentment
You may ignore or brush off behaviors that upset you, but this can do more harm than good. Letting your feelings fester can lead to elevated levels of frustration which can cause you to snap at your partner. Try to bring up issues when they first occur to prevent resentment build up.
Use “I feel” statements
Focusing on your own emotions and how you feel, minimizes the likelihood of your partner feeling attacked, placing the focus instead on how you were affected. This can help prevent defensiveness on either side allowing for open communication.
Choose the right timing
Try not to bring up difficult topics in a distractioning environment or when your partner is focusing on something. ADHD can make it challenging for them to shift attention, so choosing a calm, distraction-free moment can lead to a more productive conversation.
Focus on one issue at a time
Instead of bringing up multiple issues to your partner at once, focus on one thing at a time. It can be overwhelming for your partner to tAfter sharing your feelings, your partner may have their own concerns to express.ry to discuss multiple topics at once, and make them feel like they’re being criticized. ADHD can cause sensitivity and cause them to feel rejected and shut down.
Listen to their feelings
Instead of getting defensive or brushing off their response, let them have a space to discuss their feelings and conflicts. In order to successfully handle conflict, you have to try to respect and understand your parner’s feelings and point of view.
Take breaks
ADHD can heighten your partners’ emotions, especially in moments of conflict. By taking a break you allow your partner and yourself to calm down and evaluate how you’re communicating your emotions.
Attend couples therapy
Having a mediator guide your conversation can help you and your partner navigate conflict in a healthy manner. Regular couples therapy can help prevent resentment from building by providing a space for open, honest conversations. It strengthens communication skills and fosters a deeper connection in a safe, supportive environment.
All relationships require communication and conflict resolution, and having a partner with ADHD is no different. Being kind and respectful during conflict will lead to a healthy relationship during arguments and conflict.
If you and your partner want to seek individual or couples therapy, reach out to Lifecare Wellness Counseling and book an appointment today!
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